


TAKE A BOW

by lizzybennettdarcy



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-15
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-04-14 20:06:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4578168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizzybennettdarcy/pseuds/lizzybennettdarcy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oliver does the unforgivable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Oh, how about a round of applause, yeah_

_A standing ovation_

Felicity wished she could map out exactly how they had ended up here. She wanted to figure out the exact moment where things had changed. Although if she was being honest, it wasn't  _one_ moment but _many_.

She does know which  _decision_ led them here.

Dear God, she desperately wished she could just forget about it.

The running shoes landed in the cardboard box with a muted thud. Her training clothes and tablet followed quickly after.

"Felicity, I-" He cut off, ducking as her stapler sailed past his head.

Angry tears welled in her eyes and began to fall unchecked as she turned off her computers for the last time.

No, there had been several moments. Several moments that had made this heartbreak possible.

" _There was never a choice to make."_

Except when it was  _him_ hurting her. God forbid someone  _else_ hurt her. Only Oliver. Her heart was always collateral damage along Oliver Queen's path.

" _He took the wrong woman. I love you. Do you understand?"_

She thought she had. For a moment there. For just a fraction of a minute she'd believed his words. And no syringe or tight smiles on the beach afterwards could undo that hope that had burned within her chest.

No. Only the decision, the  _choice_ that led to her packing up her things and walking away almost a full year later.

She could blame herself. It could be argued that she never should have allowed her two worlds to collide so spectacularly. She had always managed to keep her Arrow business and QC job separate from her personal life. She had friends and she had Team Arrow. Separately.

She dropped her purse on top of the box and took a breath. She could leave without saying a word. He knew why she was leaving. He knew why he would never see her again.

But he deserved to see how his actions affected those around him. He needed to  _learn_.

Her eyes popped open and she spun on her heel to face him. She ignored the regret that burned within his grey eyes unchecked. She had no interest in the way his shoulders were slumped.

He'd done this. He'd broken them; broken  _her._

"I thought I could forgive you for anything." Her tone was cold, he flinched as her hurt settled heavily upon his shoulders.

He shook his head and ran a hand over his scalp. "I don't know what to say, I-"

Her eyes narrowed. "There's nothing that you  _can_ say. You did this. There's no fixing it."

His eyes widened and he stepped forward. She stepped backwards. "But, Felicity, I can't do this without-"

"You knew this would happen. You know how I feel about you." She threw her hands in the air. "Hell! You've used those feelings against me before! So let's not pretend you didn't know exactly what would happen when I found out you  _fucked_ my oldest friend. You  _knew!_ " She jabbed a finger in his direction, seething.

He opened his mouth before shaking his head and closing it again.

"The other women, Jesus, they  _hurt_. Watching you  _parade_ women around in front of me was one thing. Coming in second to Isabel and Laurel and Helena and Sara was bad enough. But Jessica? I know you're an asshole sometimes,  _Ollie_ , but I didn't know you were still the guy who took his girlfriend's sister on a sex cruise. Who would screw the best friend of the woman who's loved you for years." Her words stung her throat even as she threw them at him. Even  _now_ she didn't like calling him that insipid nickname, comparing him to his former self. But if the condom fits. "Maybe you didn't change so much after all. This is what you do. You self-sabotage. You find some semblance of happiness, of  _normalcy_ and you fuck it up." She cleared her throat, the tears falling once more. "Only it's always the women in your life who get hurt. You got a night of great sex out of the deal. It's my friendship that's over now. And it's  _my_ heart that's broken."

His eyes were wet with unshed tears. She'd never seen him cry before, not really. "It wasn't great." He mumbled.

She choked on a laugh that turned quickly into sob. "All of that and  _that's_ what you decided to comment on? You're a real bastar-"

"It wasn't great. Because yes, I knew exactly what I was doing,-"

" _Who_ you were doing, Asshole." She interjected spitefully.

"And I knew it was already too late. I knew what I'd done. So no, it wasn't great." He finished quietly.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" She wondered in amazement.

Oliver stepped closer to her and she allowed it. "There's nothing I can say or do to make you feel better. This is what I was so afraid of. It's why I pushed you away. It's why I was silent on that beach. I knew I'd hurt you and-"

Her finger jabbed him in the chest. "And you're your own self-fulfilling prophecy. Congratulations."

He was silent as the two of them stared at each other for the last time. The enjoyable tension between the two of them had shifted and soured, choking them both. Her eyes traced the faint scars on his face before focusing on the tear that was caught in his eyelashes. Her hand shot out and cupped his cheek. Quickly, she bounced up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips against his. His body was still with shock and she had pulled away before he could react.

She stepped away from him and reached for the cardboard box that contained every trace of her secret life. Secret life; the only  _life_ she'd had and cared about for three years now.

"What was that for?" His words were strangled as he fought to keep himself in place.

Felicity turned back to look at him, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I wanted you to know exactly  _what_ you'd thrown away. You didn't just lose a friend, a partner. It's not just your IT geek who's walking out the door tonight. I was the future.  _Your_ future. I was the girlfriend you'd hide for several months because you were worried about my safety. We would have been outed after you inevitably hit someone, territorially, for hitting on me. I'm the one who you were going to watch walk down the aisle towards you in a white and colorful polkadot wedding dress. I'm the woman who you were going to have kids with; little blond geniuses with athletic prowess." She swallowed thickly. "I was the one you'd grow old with. To live and share the life you deserved and never fully believed you'd get."

A strangled sob ripped its way past his teeth and he broke in front of her. Her fingers itched to comfort him as he dropped to his knees.

"It's what I wanted. It's what I thought you wanted. All those times that your eyes followed me or you sighed my name in your sleep when napping." She shrugged. " _That's_ what you traded for casual sex with my best friend."

"I'm  _so_ sorry." He growled through quivering lips.

"Goodbye, Oliver." Her tone was final, brooking no argument. The two of them had always been able to communicate so much with so little. He knew that she never wanted to see him again. He knew that she was done.

As she turned away from him, she caught her first and last glimpse of Oliver Queen crying. Muffled sobs followed her up the stairs. She paused for just a moment by the door and took a deep breath. A roar of fury echoed through the new lair before the sounds of destruction chased her from the building.

_But now it's time to go_

_Curtain's finally closing_

 


	2. FALLEN

_But somewhere along the way_

_I got caught up in all there was to offer_

_And the cost was so much more than I could bear_

It was Roy who found him there, kneeling listlessly amidst the rubble. No words were spoken as Roy's pointed gaze landed on the desk where her things had once been; where her computers remained untouched. Despite his blinding fury, only her computers escaped his destruction; those monitors were all he had left of her now.

He heard the sigh cross Roy's lips and felt the understanding look pointed his way. But still, no words were uttered.

The silence was broken only by the sounds of Roy sorting through the wreckage for anything unbroken. Oliver moved to his feet slowly and joined the younger man and they began to clean up the mess.

The silence should have been stifling, accusatory and downright uncomfortable. It wasn't. Roy understood better than anyone else just how it felt to fuck everything up and be left behind. He knew how it felt to break the heart of the only person that mattered.

Roy knew what it meant to lose the axis upon which his world revolved.

Oliver watched his protégé with newfound respect. He now fully understood the weight that Roy carried after Thea's disappearance.

And as that same weight settled upon Oliver, he wondered just how Roy remained upright. Because the gravity of the situation was slowly crushing him, compressing his spine and tightening around his lungs.

Roy had channelled his heartbreak over Thea into becoming a hero. They had never given him enough credit. It was more obvious now that Oliver truly understood him.

Oliver didn't know if he could survive the loss of Felicity. And he certainly wasn't a  _hero_.

_I have sunk so low_

_I messed up_

He made it a week before he checked on her.

Though sitting outside her condo on his bike, amidst shadows might not be considered  _checking on her_ ; an argument could be made for  _stalking_. And there was nothing productive about that week. He destroyed the lair after she left. Drank himself into oblivion for the next four days and  _barely_ survived the worst hangover of his life. Although if he was being honest, he had half-hoped that he  _wouldn't_ survive it.

He hadn't donned the hood since the night she'd walked away. He ignored Diggle's displeased and probing gazes and preferred the quiet stoicism of Roy's understanding and silent support.

The thought of going out on a mission without  _her_ in his ear was unthinkable and so damn painful that he'd buried it.

His eyes were fixed on the window of her bedroom as her silhouette moved around the lit room. She was probably getting ready for bed. Perhaps checking her tablet before slipping into bed before remembering that she wasn't a part of Team Arrow anymore.

A bolt of agony ripped through his chest. He'd taken everything from her. One horrible decision had ripped away the life that she loved so much. He had broken her heart and made it impossible for her to face him.

His actions had caused the need for one of them to leave.  _He_ was the Arrow. Which meant it had to be her. There was no need for her type of genius without a vigilante for her to guide.

And yet he'd willingly refused to put on that hood.

He had forced her out. Given her no choice but to walk away from the pain that he'd caused.

And he'd given up. He wondered vaguely if she would be ashamed of him for neglecting the city that past week. The thought of causing her more hurt was almost unbearable.

She believed he was a hero. Even as she tore him apart for the things he'd done, the hurts he'd caused, she hadn't taken back her belief in him. She'd rightfully ripped him apart for his choices in his personal life, but she hadn't said a word about the Arrow.

As the light turned out and he imagined her laying her beautiful blond head against her pillow, he promised himself, he promised  _her,_  that he would make her proud.

_In the lonely light of morning_

_In the wound that would not heal_

He spent more nights than he should sitting outside her home on his bike. He always kept to the shadows, but he doubted she was unaware of his vigil.

He donned the hood again. He began patrolling with renewed concentration and purpose. Any nighttime hours not spent outside Felicity's home were spent filling jail cells and reducing crime within the city.

And if he hit the criminals a little harder and a little longer than he had before, well who were they to complain anyways? No one else said anything about it to him. Not Dig, though the press of his lips each night told him that he wished to. Roy understood him, period. And Lance seemed to understand him as well. It had not escaped his notice that Felicity Smoak was no longer involved with him, as either Oliver Queen or the Arrow.

He knew that John and Roy still spent time with her. He knew that there were many meals that he was not invited to. He didn't resent them for it. He'd done this to himself.

He missed her though. He felt her loss like the phantom limb that she was. Felicity had somehow become a part of him, seamlessly and completely and he hadn't even known it had happened.

Not until he'd ripped her heart to pieces and with it, his own. When she walked up those steps, gripping what was left of her dignity, she took jagged pieces of him with her.

He wondered if she felt the loss the way that he did. Wondered if she felt like half of her body had been severed and taken from her.

He hoped not. He hoped that she was healing, that she was happy.

But he also hoped that she  _wasn't_. That she still loved him and missed him the way he missed her; that the thought of him made her breath hitch in her chest until she choked on it.

He wasn't sure if he hated himself more for what he'd done with Jessica, or for hoping that she still loved him too.

_But we carry on our backs the burden_

_Time always reveals_

He was furious. Livid. And he needed an outlet. He needed a scumbag to pummel into the earth with his bare knuckles.

" _What the hell are you doing?" He whispered lethally._

_Laurel spun around at his tone, her face guilty. The screen behind her was on for the first time in five months._

" _Ollie, I figured you might need some intel for your-"_

" _No!" He snapped, tossing his bow in the general direction of a table and advancing on her. "Get away from those."_

_Her eyes narrowed as he stepped into her space. "It's time to move on, Ollie. She's not coming back." His knuckles popped underneath the strain of his clenched fists. "I have computer skills. I can help. Take her place and-"_

" _You will_ never  _take her place!" He bellowed into her face, nostrils flaring. "Get out."_

_He could see Roy and Dig hovering in his periphery but Laurel held her ground. A roar escaped his lips and he spun on his heel, grabbed his bow and ran._

A frightened scream caught his attention and he raced towards the mouth of the alleyway. A pretty young blonde was being held up against the filthy wall by a man twice her age. Her attacker was large, muscled and drunk. The girl squeaked in surprise when she saw the Arrow and the man turned to face him.

Everything afterwards was a blur. The blonde scampered off as the fists began flying. Oliver greeted the fury that had been closing in on him for months and allowed it to blind him, numb him.

"Oliver!" A familiar voice shouted from a distance. He shook off the hand that pulled at his arm and landed another punch against the pervert's jaw.

"You're killing him!" Roy shouted in his ear.

Oliver paused, blinked and then looked down at the man he was straddling. His face was meat. He was unconscious.

"He's breathing." Roy mumbled, before pulling Oliver to his feet. Oliver allowed himself to be pushed away from the scene quickly as sirens wailed in the distance.

Oliver had the control most men only dreamed of. He never allowed himself to slip. He kept a lid on the rage and regret and pain of his past.

And tonight he'd let go. He'd lost control. He almost killed a man in cold blood.

No words were spoken as Roy cleaned the deep cuts on his knuckles. But the look in his eyes said enough.

_I've fallen..._

_I have sunk so low_

He should have turned things around after he put a man in a coma. He should have realised the error of his ways and done something about it.

But he hadn't. He'd simply worked harder at controlling his temper and done his best to avoid triggers. He had become a recluse. Working his way back up within QC quietly, avoiding any and all scandal. He was never seen in public.

He didn't date. He didn't have casual sex.

" _Come over tonight. Have a beer." Dig insisted._

_Oliver shook his head, not even bothering to deny his intentions for the evening. He would spend it outside her home, just like every other night._

_John sighed and ran a hand over his neck awkwardly. He cleared his throat, coughed and shook his head. "You don't want to be there tonight. She has-" He paused as Oliver flinched. "-A date."_

Oliver hadn't gone to her home that night. He'd gone straight to a bar and found the first woman there. He was going to fuck her. He hadn't had sex since  _that_ night three months before and Felicity wasn't coming back.

Only the woman's hair was too dark and she didn't have freckles on her nose. She had perfect vision and murky brown eyes.

He hadn't even made it back to her home, begging off with a lame excuse. Casual sex was the reason his whole world had crumbled around him. Casual sex would do nothing to fix it. It wouldn't fill the gaping, aching hole that Felicity had left behind when she'd taken his heart with her.

So he'd remained celibate. He hadn't touched a woman in seven months. Because he didn't want any of them. He only wanted  _her_. No offers from supermodels or  _Laurel_ would do it for him. Not anymore.

So he kept going. QC employee by day, Arrow by night. He camped outside her condo before going home and dreaming of her each night. His waking and sleeping thoughts never strayed far from Felicity Smoak.

He didn't realise how problematic that could be until it nearly got him killed. He was too busy concentrating on the way he missed her accidental sexual innuendo through his earpiece. He didn't see the shooter or his gun until the bullet had already hit the scar his mother had given him.

As he bled out on the warehouse floor, he wondered if this was truly it. He wondered if maybe he'd finally know peace. He hadn't been living since she'd left. Death didn't seem so bad.

At this point, he welcomed it.

_Heaven bend to take my hand_

_And lead me through the fire_

He came to with a sharp breath as the pain assaulted him. His eyes blinked wearily up at an angry Dig and a tired Roy.

John opened his mouth but Roy placed a hand on his shoulder. Oliver shook his head. "I know."

It was time to figure his shit out. He'd spent the last seven months missing her and hating himself.

" _Maybe you didn't change so much after all. This is what you do. You self-sabotage. You find some semblance of happiness, of normalcy and you fuck it up." She cleared her throat, the tears falling once more. "Only it's always the women in your life who get hurt._

" _Any you're your own self-fulfilling prophecy. Congratulations."_

It was time to take responsibility for his actions. It was time to stop just punishing himself and do something about it. It was time to figure out just what the hell was wrong with him.

_And the cost was so much more than I could bear_

 


	3. I'M NOT OVER

_What a waste of time_

_The thought crossed my mind_

_Can't explain this thing, or what I mean_

_I'm trying to let go_

Felicity moved around her little kitchen as the sounds of the Rockets game echoed through her condo. Roy and John insisted on watching the last inning while she finished cooking. She couldn't complain, it gave her a few minutes to herself.

She missed the days when hanging out with the two of them was fun and easy. She missed Team meals at Big Belly Burger and dim sum Sundays.

Things had changed, they'd had to, after she left the team. At first, things had been difficult but the three of them had made it work. They'd ignored the horribly large elephant in the room and simply enjoyed each other's company. They'd gone to Rockets games, tried out new restaurants around the city and caught the latest movies in the cinema down the street from Felicity's condo.

She absently stirred the pasta sauce.

It wasn't so easy anymore. Fun didn't come quite as easily. John tried too hard to make her smile. And Roy studied her, never offering an explanation why. Roy rarely said much of anything.

So she relished these little moments of solitude to prepare herself. And really how pathetic was it that she needed to prepare to spend time with the people she loved?

The timer on the stove beeped and Felicity drained the noodles. She dished out generous portions of the pasta, adding meat and cheese to each dish.

"Chow's ready!" She called out as lightly as she could manage.

She carried the dishes out to the table as the men turned off the TV and sat down. Roy and Dig dug in eagerly. The smile on her lips fell as her eyes flickered over the empty chair across the table from her.

How could she miss his presence at her dinner table when he'd never actually eaten there before?

"How is Lyla and Andy, Dig?" Felicity asked before taking a bite of pasta.

Dig began to regale the two of them with tales off his precocious one year old son. Felicity smiled along with Roy, though her attention was decidedly elsewhere. Little Andy was her godson and she adored him. The thought of him always caused the tiniest of aches; she knew that Dig had wished to name both Felicity and Oliver the godparents.

Felicity shoved another forkful of noodles into her mouth.

It had been nine months since she'd last seen Oliver. Nine months since she sat in the lair. Night months since she helped the Arrow fight crime and save lives.

And she missed all of it.

She missed being a hero. She missed standing for something good and right. She missed watching her friends spar while she worked on code. She missed guiding the team through abandoned buildings and hacking intel.

She missed him.

She was still angry. She still felt the sting of his betrayal. But she  _missed_ him.

She hadn't sat around pining over him like a lovesick fool. She had dated. She'd met several nice men; good-looking men, smart men, funny men. But Felicity hadn't made it past the first date with any of them. She slept with two of them in a desperate attempt to just get over it. To get over  _him_.

It didn't matter how nice they were, or how funny. None of them were quite right. Some were too short, some were too tall. Too thin, too muscular. They laughed too much or too loudly. Their smile was either too big or not genuine enough.

Felicity Smoak wasn't an idiot. She knew  _exactly_ who she was comparing those men to. And it pissed her off. It drove her absolutely crazy.

"Felicity?"

Felicity blinked twice before settling on Dig's face. "Sorry."

His smile was strained. He knew just where her thoughts had been but he didn't mention it. "I have to go. Amanda called Lyla in. Thanks for dinner."

She waved after him as he hurried through the door and out of her condo. She watched the door close behind him and turned to face Roy. The younger man was quietly studying her, his dinner finished and forgotten.

Suddenly uncomfortable, she glanced down at her food and stabbed a noddle with her fork. She hadn't spent any time alone with Roy in quite a while and now she remembered why.

He was so much like Oliver.

The two of them had always had similarities. Roy had worshipped Oliver even before he realised just who he was. And as Oliver taught him and worked with him, the bond had only grown.

"How is he?"

Her eyes snapped shut as the words fell from her lips. She had never asked about him. She'd never asked  _either_ of them about him. Occasionally she'd slip up and ask about their missions, but never about him.

He was silent until she opened her eyes and glanced up at him. His face was expressionless as he watched her. It was unnerving, how similar it was to Oliver's mask of indifference.

"Felicity, if we're going to have this conversation, we're going to do it properly." He replied evenly.

Her mouth popped open in surprise. "What?"

He shook his head. "I'm not going to give you a one word answer that makes you feel better. If we're going to talk about Oliver, then we're going to actually  _talk_ about it."

She considered taking back her question. She thought about asking him to leave.

"Fine." She replied instead.

Roy nodded and got to his feet. She waited in confusion as he walked out of the room and into her kitchen. When he returned with two bottles of beer she raised an eyebrow. "That bad, huh?"

Roy cracked a wry smile. "We'll both need it."

The two of them opened their beers and clinked the bottles together. "Where do we start?" He asked.

Felicity scraped a nail against her bottle. "The beginning."

_I'm not over_

_I'm not over you just yet_

_Cannot hide it_

_You're not that easy to forget_

Roy wasn't much of a talker. Thea used to joke about how he was the strong, silent type. And she was right, mostly. Being silent had meant survival in the Glades. It meant noticing things and people that no one else saw.

He had known from the very beginning of his time on Team Arrow that Felicity was special. He had seen the way she brightened each and every room she walked into. He had respected her opinions and avoided her loud voice.

He had also seen just how much Oliver worshipped the ground she walked upon. He'd seen the unguarded moments between the two of them. He'd watched as Oliver let his guard down and touched Felicity, always innocently, when he spoke with her. He noticed the way her whole face would light up under Oliver's praise.

He saw the way that Oliver's eyes followed the blonde.

The addition of Sara to the team changed everything and nothing. Felicity was hurt and Oliver was guilty. But Felicity still beamed when Oliver was around.

And Oliver still watched her like she was the sun shining through his never-ending midnight.

He watched the two of them dance around each other in the months that followed Sladegate. He watched Oliver rebuff Laurel. He saw the eager faces that trailed in Felicity's wake.

He even understood why Oliver kept her at a distance. It was the same reason that he'd forced Thea to break up with him. Because there were several kinds of women in the world, but none of them were like Felicity and Thea. None of them were as strong or as beautiful.

And there may be 4 billion women in the world, but only Thea made Roy's life worth living. And only Felicity could make Oliver Queen smile.

And he would do anything to keep Thea safe. Even if it meant breaking his own heart to do it.

So yeah, he  _understood_  why Oliver had never made a move.

"He destroyed just about everything the day you left." He told her. She said to start at the beginning, but Roy wasn't there for the beginning. He knew the story. He knew that the two of them had fallen a little bit in love that first day, even if  _they_ didn't know it. He didn't need to recap their will they/won't they relationship. They'd all been there.

What Felicity had really meant was the  _end_. The end of their relationship, the end of her partnership with the Arrow. The end of everything they'd all built together. The end of Felicity really laughing and Oliver smiling. The end of everything that really mattered.

"I found him there, helped him clean up." He paused. "Only the computers remained unbroken."

He didn't tell her why. She didn't need him to. She knew Oliver cared about her, even though he'd hurt her so badly.

"He spent the next week getting drunk out of his mind. Dig was a little worried the hangover would kill him." Roy caught her eye. "I think Oliver kind of hoped it would."

Felicity looked away and nodded for him to continue.

"It took him a while to put the hood on again. We trained together and waited until he was ready." He gave her the facts. He wasn't much of a talker and talking about feelings was not his forte. She would fill in all of the blanks. "He went back out in the field and kept fighting for the city.

He watched her lips purse together and he knew what she wanted to ask. "We didn't touch your computers. It was kind of unspoken but we knew he didn't want us to. We used radios instead. They're still exactly like you left them," He grimaced. "Well mostly."

Felicity's brow furrowed in confusion.

"Laurel showed up a few months ago and decided to be his new tech girl." He watched as she seethed and bit back a smile. "It didn't go very well."

"What do you mean? Was the system too complicat-" She trailed off when he waved her off.

"He freaked out. Lost his temper and told her to get out. She said-" He waited until she met his gaze. "She said you weren't coming back. And he just gave it to her. She hasn't come back."

She was surprised, he could tell. She'd never had much of a poker face.

"He put a predator in a coma that night." He added quietly.

He gave her a few moments to collect herself. He had told her they were going to be honest. And she wanted to know. She  _needed_ to know. He'd watched her, he knew that she wasn't over it, over  _him_.

"He lost control. And he was more surprised by it then we were." He drained his bottle. "He's a mess. He has been for years. Eventually he was going to crash."

Felicity nodded distractedly.

"He got kind of reckless after that. He was distracted." She raised an eyebrow in question but he ignored it. "He got shot. Bled out."

He let the words hang there and watched her. The blood drained from her face as if  _she_ was the one bleeding out.

She loved Oliver still. That much was obvious and had been clear every time he'd seen her since she'd left.

"We barely got there in time. He wouldn't fight. He seemed-" He paused, unsure of how to continue without betraying Oliver. Without hurting her. "He seemed like maybe he was okay with it. We worked on him all night. He kept flat-lining."

Felicity exhaled through her teeth, fighting to keep the tears at bay. "When was this?"

"Two months ago. Dig and I had to take turns as the Arrow for a while." He stood and headed for the kitchen, giving her time to calm down. He slowly grabbed two more beers and made his way back to her. She nodded her thanks and opened the bottle.

"He took time off?" Disbelief colored her tone and he smiled.

"When he came to, Dig was ready to read him the riot act. But he didn't. Oliver knew. He got it." He explained, sipping from his beer.

Felicity scoffed and he shot her a look. "Is this the part where you tell me he's a changed man?"

"Don't do that. You wanted to talk about this." He glared at her until she shrugged and motioned for him to continue. "He's still fucked up. He's always going to be. You should have known that." He raised a hand as she opened her mouth to argue. "I'm  _not_ saying what he did was your fault. I would never say that. Because it wasn't, Felicity. He screwed up." She nodded slowly. "I won't defend what he did. Hell, _he_ wouldn't defend what he did. And he hasn't."

"So then what  _are_ you saying?"

Roy scratched his chin. "What I'm saying is that now he  _knows_ he's screwed up. Now he gets it. He's not in denial anymore. He sees the pattern and he's working on it. He's been seeing someone and-" He trailed off when he saw the tears pooling in her eyes. His own widened and he shook his head. "Jesus, not like  _dating_ someone, Liss. I mean like a shrink. He's been talking to someone about some of his stuff. Obviously he has to be careful because of all his secrets, but he's seeing some guy who does the shrink stuff for A.R.G.U.S."

He reached forwards and covered her hand with his own. "He hasn't dated since you left, trust me. And we both know he has options. Laurel was after him for months and he wasn't interested. I never thought I'd say it, but Oliver Queen is celibate.  _Celibate_. So no, he's not a changed man. He's still messed up." He caught her gaze. "But he's  _celibate_ , Liss. And I know you know how big a deal that is."

Felicity sniffled and nodded. Her free hand wiped at her wet eyes for a moment before she asked him the question he'd been waiting for. "Why are you telling me all of this? I mean, I know that I asked. But you're fighting for him."

Roy squeezed her hand lightly before pulling away and leaning back in his chair. "Because I understand exactly what he's going through. I know what it's like to find someone who just makes the world spin, you know? I know what it's like to find someone so good, so  _pure,_ that they pull you out of the nightmare that is your life." He glared at a spot over her shoulder. "And I know what it's like to break the heart of the only person who matters and watch her walk away."

She was silent for a moment as he bit back the bitterness that came with thoughts of Thea. He missed her and he worried about her every damn day.

"It's not the same, Roy." Felicity insisted quietly.

He rose from his seat and looked down at her earnestly. "It's  _exactly_ the same thing, Felicity." He dropped a kiss to her forehead.

He didn't look back as he walked away from her. Closing the door to her condo behind him, he hoped that just  _maybe_ she'd consider his words.

Because Oliver was still a mess and Felicity had every right to be angry with him. But neither one of them had been okay since she'd left.

And if the two of them could work it out, then maybe, just  _maybe_ , there was still hope for him and Thea.

_I'm not over_

_I'm not over you just yet_

_Cannot hide it_

_You're not that easy to forget_

 


	4. BEAUTIFUL GOODBYE

_And let them go, let them fly_

_Holding back won't turn back time_

_Believe me, I've tried_

"Tell me about her."

Oliver's eyes narrowed as he regarded the man across from him, who withstood the scrutiny with only a single raised eyebrow. Oliver blew out a breath and looked away.

"Come on, Oliver. We've been meeting twice a week for five months now." Ben reminded him. "We've discussed your past relationships, your parent's relationships and every woman you've slept with before and after the Island."

He had a point of course. Searching for a psychiatrist had been a daunting task. His life was a jumbled mess of secrets and lies. After several failed attempts with other 'doctors', Oliver had turned to a friend he'd made while working with A.R.G.U.S. Ben already knew his secret identity, so Oliver was given the option to disclose only what he wanted, as opposed to the alternative of navigating a minefield of half-truths.

"You told me that you'd done something unforgiveable, that you'd hurt the person who mattered the most to you. You explained this to me during our first session. It hasn't escaped my notice that you've never mentioned her name, Oliver." Ben continued when Oliver remained silent.

Oliver tapped his fingers against his knee as he considered what Ben had said. He wasn't sure where his reluctance stemmed from. The last several months had been a gruelling crash course in self-awareness and honesty. Oliver had never been one for searching within himself, instead allowing his inner demons to bear down heavily upon his shoulders. This habit tended to lead to self-destructive behavior.

Thus, the need for counselling.

"Felicity." He admitted painfully. "Her name is Felicity."

Ben nodded and waited for him to continue.

"Felicity is," He winced. " _Was_ my partner, one of my partners as the Arrow."

Ben tilted his head to the side as if in thought. "Your pretty blond assistant? The one you were constantly photographed with?"

Oliver's jaw tightened. " _Former_ assistant." He glared down at his hands. "She quit both after I-" He trailed off, the familiar self-loathing choking him.

"Oliver." Ben's voice was gentle but firm and Oliver finally looked over at him. "This is why you're here. We've worked through so much of your past. You've admitted all of your wrongdoings and we've managed to put some of those past events into perspective." Ben paused, letting his words assure him. "But we both know you aren't here because you cheated on Laurel, or because your parents were not the monogamous ideal. You don't have to tell me about it today, but if you want to work through this, then you'll have to at some point."

He was right of course. Oliver knew that. It was why he'd talked about everything else first. He needed to understand why he was the way he was. And they'd slowly done that.

He'd grown up in a home where his parents were merely cool, aloof fixtures. He and Thea had been raised almost solely by nannies and maids. His parents were insistent upon a united family unit in public, but they were divided totally and completely in private. He and Thea played the part of perfect children and were rewarded handsomely for it, in the only way that his parents had known how. They'd had the best toys, clothes and possessions that money could buy.

Oliver was seven years old when he first met one of his father's mistresses. His blissful ignorance about his parents' marriage ended that day. He grew up knowing that his parents didn't love each other, not in the way that they pretended to.

He had also gotten away with every misdeed he'd ever done. He had never had a detention that his parents hadn't talked his way out of. The parents of his victims had been paid off in elementary school. By the time he was fifteen, Oliver Queen had known two things for certain; monogamy was a myth and the only way to get his parents' attention was by doing something reckless and illegal.

It had taken four months with Ben to put together a rather pathetic picture. Oliver Queen had no idea how to handle personal conflict. He'd grown up in a world where emotions were a weakness and love did not exist. Oliver had run in the opposite direction of  _feelings_ for the first twenty-two years of his life. He had cared for Laurel but he'd kept her at a distance. He'd cheated and lied to her, but she'd always insisted on taking him back. The thought of something as permanent as  _living together_ had him running in the opposite direction. Her sister had been the ultimate betrayal and the only way to ensure she'd be done with him once and for all.

It was so easy to sit back now and say that he should have just told her he didn't want that future, that he didn't love her. But Oliver Queen hadn't been raised that way. He'd seen his father cheat on his mother and they'd both tucked it under the rug. And that was the future he'd seen himself having with Laurel. He envisioned himself chained to a marriage he didn't want, a wife who quietly bore the burden of being a trophy and little else.

It had taken him four months to figure out why he hurt people the way that he did.

He still hadn't quite figured out just why he'd hurt Felicity though.

_And I remember your eyes were so bright_

_When I first met you_

Oliver strode into Ben's office and sat in his usual chair. "She's the strongest, bravest,  _best_ person I've ever known. From the first moment I met her I knew she was different. She was the first person to make me smile, really smile, after I got back from Lian Yu. She was the first one to make me  _laugh_  when I thought I'd never laugh again." He practically threw the words at his friend, desperate to get them off his tongue. "I needed her, needed her  _light_. I kept going back to see her. And then eventually brought her onto the team."

Ben chose not to mention the way he'd just thrown all of that information at him, eschewing all greetings. Oliver thought the man might just be relieved that he was  _finally_ talking about it. Oliver was relieved himself. He'd done little but think of Ben's words since their last session.

"She quickly became my partner, my best friend. After the Undertaking it was  _her_ who brought me back. She stood by my side and became my assistant even though I didn't ask her and she didn't  _want_ to be an EA. She was my moral compass and the best part of my day." Oliver sighed. "I hurt her. All the time. She had feelings for me, had for quite a while. I slept with someone, Isabel, and it really hurt her. I told her that I couldn't be with someone I really cared about." He rubbed a hand against the back of his neck.

"And did you mean it?" Ben wondered.

"I'm not sure." He admitted. "I just knew that we couldn't go there. She accepted it, things went back to normal mostly after that."

Ben nodded. "Tell me all about her. We'll get to the rest of the story later."

And so Oliver told him. He told him about the fact that she liked black coffee on Mondays and Fridays but preferred tea with cream and sugar on Tuesdays and Wednesday.

"What about Thursdays?"

Oliver's lips twitched upwards. "On Thursdays she liked a chocolate milkshake."

Ben smiled. "In the morning?"

Oliver chuckled. "Every Thursday at 9 am. We had to ask Big Belly Burger to make them specially."

Oliver's laughter died quickly. He  _really_ missed being the one to bring her coffee, tea and milkshakes.

_I count the ways I let you down_

_On my fingers and toes but I'm running out_

Oliver pulled off his jacket and placed it on the couch beside him. "She's the one who told me about my sister's paternity. She did it even though my mother had threatened her. She told me even though she worried I wouldn't forgive her for it."

Ben seemed to sense the guilt in his tone rather than hear it. "And how did that go?"

"I-" Oliver clasped his hands together tightly. "I promised her she wouldn't lose me and then I went and slept with Sara. The two of us were together for three months after that."

He watched as Ben fought to keep his expression neutral and a smile crossed his own face. He'd never even met Felicity, but just knowing about her was enough that he seemed to care.

"Yeah, Ben, I know. Sara was on the team and Felicity was so great about it all. I should have said something to her but-" He paused.

"But you told her you couldn't be with someone you cared about?" Ben finished for him.

"She got shot, trying to prove herself. She got shot defending Sara." Oliver remembered with a growl. "If I had talked to her then maybe she wouldn't have felt like she needed to prove herself, she'd have known that she was irreplaceable."

Ben tapped a pen against his mouth as he considered what Oliver had told him. "Let's go back to that night when you told her you couldn't be with someone you cared about. Were you talking, even without conscious thought, about the two of you?"

Oliver was silent as he considered the question. "I knew that there was  _something_ there, and I knew that if given the chance it might become more." He glowered. "A few days later she was taken hostage by the Count. He could have killed her."

Ben looked down at the notepad in his lap. "That was the night you killed him?" He glanced up at Oliver.

"He was going to hurt her. There wasn't an option." He declared tonelessly.

A small smile flittered across Ben's lips. "Am I correct in guessing that the events of that night had you considering that  _something_ a little closer?"

Oliver rolled his eyes. "Why am I even paying you?"

Ben laughed. "Because you can't see anyone else without them calling the police or having you committed.

_When did the rain become a storm?_

_When did the clouds begin to form?_

"Had Felicity dated anyone else during her time on your team?" Ben asked as Oliver seated himself across from him.

Oliver's expression became stormy. "There was a kid from Central City, Barry."

Ben chuckled. "And how did that go?"

Oliver shook his head and jumped to his feet. He paced around the room, overcome with the memory of the anxiety and frustration he'd felt during Barry Allen's visit. "He and I didn't get on very well."

Ben rolled his eyes. "I'll refrain from making a joke about you seeing green."

Oliver shot him an irritated look.

"So that was your first experience with jealousy in regards to Felicity. How did she react?"

Oliver chuckled darkly. "Barry Allen was something of a sore subject between the two of us for two years."

"I want you to think about something for me, Oliver. I don't need an answer this week. In fact I'd prefer if you didn't answer me until next month." He waited until he had Oliver's full attention. "Communication between the two of you seems to be a big part of your relationship."

Oliver thought about all of the times that they'd been able to communicate with just a glance, a touch or a meaningful 'Felicity' or 'Oliver'.

"I think it's important for you to consider just how the two of you communicated when it came to your  _personal_ relationship. I know enough about your alter-ego's exploits to know that your team worked together flawlessly. But I believe, and correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that if the two of you were able to communicate about your relationship than perhaps you wouldn't be here, Oliver." Ben finished.

Oliver narrowed his eyes. "What exactly is your point,  _Doc_?"

"Just think about it, Oliver. I'll see you next week."

_Your eyes were so bright_

_And I remember your eyes were so bright_

_And I remember your eyes were so bright_

_When I first told you, how in love were we that night?_

"She was the one who defeated Slade." Oliver told Ben on a warm day as they walked through the park.

Ben raised an eyebrow and motioned for him to continue.

"Slade had me beaten. He'd killed my mother and let hell loose on the city. Everyone was shouting for me to kill him." He smiled. "But she pleaded with me not to. She believed in me, saw more than just a killer. She helped me figure it all out."

He didn't want to relive this part. That moment in the mansion was number 2 on the list of moments he was most ashamed of; just after sleeping with her oldest friend and closely followed by remaining silent on the beach as she all but begged him to be honest with her.

"She was the bait. I left her in the mansion where I knew Slade would find her and put on a show for the cameras he'd hidden there." His teeth slammed together as the memories overwhelmed him.

"A show?" Ben prompted.

"A show isn't the right way to describe it I guess. It was supposed to be a show. The plan was supposed to be simple; leave Felicity, convince Slade that she was the one I cared most about, leave her with the cure and let her save the day." He explained tersely.

"So what went wrong?"

Oliver looked over at Ben before continuing. "The problem is that Slade really  _had_ taken the wrong woman. The problem was that instead of sticking to a script, I told her I loved her."

Ben blew out a long breath. "And then she saved the day."

Oliver nodded tightly.

"I don't know why I'm even asking this, but did you ever talk about it afterwards?"

Oliver stopped and shoved his hands in his pockets. "She tried. She all but straight out asked me if I meant it. I said nothing."

Ben only nodded sagely and continued walking.

_And let them go, let them fly_

_Holding back won't turn back time_

_Believe me, I've tried_

Oliver and Ben sat across from each other in a silent battle of wills. Oliver had arrived five minutes before and neither of them had spoken yet.

The time had come. He'd been seeing Ben for eight months now. He'd spent the last three telling him all about Felicity and their complicated relationship up until a week before she left. It was time to talk about  _it_ , the choice that had broken her, broken  _them_.

He just didn't want to do it. He knew that Ben wouldn't judge him. He knew that whether or not they continued to meet like this, Oliver had gained a friend he could trust.

He just didn't want to relive it. He didn't want to describe the mental processes or lack thereof that had led to his fatal mistake.

He didn't want to describe the look on Felicity's face as she'd descended those stairs. Or the way her tears sparkled in the dim light of the lair. He didn't want to explain the way her lips had pressed against his for only the barest of moments but the taste of her tears had lingered on his lips for  _days_.

"I slept with her oldest friend." It was with a mixture of great pain and relief that those words finally passed his lips.

Ben nodded. Oliver was sure that he'd seen this coming. He knew Oliver's patterns almost as well as Oliver did at this point.

"I still don't really understand why I did it. I can't blame alcohol or jealousy. I wasn't really attracted to her friend. I hadn't been able to really  _see_ anyone but her for months at that point. But I did it. And it broke her, broke us." He explained.

"So she left." Ben concluded.

"After some words." Oliver agreed.

"Tell me what you were thinking as things progressed with her friend."

Oliver's face twisted. He had been angry that night and he hadn't even known why. He'd been angry and he'd wanted to see Felicity. He  _always_ wanted to see Felicity when he was upset. But he'd found himself calling her friend instead. He'd known even as he pulled her dress over her head that there was no going back. That he'd truly fucked up this time.

"I was upset and I wanted Felicity. But I went to her friend instead." Oliver told him instead, as the pieces began to fall into place.

"The way you did the night she told you about your mother. With Sara." Ben added, clearly beginning to see the same picture himself. "And the way you did with Isobel when you were worried about John in Russia."

"Jesus." Oliver muttered into his hands.

Ben remained quiet as Oliver's mind reeled. Memories flashed through his head in rapid succession. The Count's hand pressing those deadly needles against the tender flesh of her throat. The threats the man in Russia had made against himself and her in that alleyway. The fear of losing her because his mother chose to come between them. The jealousy that had all but strangled him in Barry's presence. His anger at her bedside doting in Central City. The fury he'd felt when he'd seen the bomb collar around her throat.

All had one thing in common. Two really. A loss of situational control and the inability to control the way he felt about her.

He'd held her at a distance for so long.

But whenever he slipped, whenever he let her too close or she got hurt, he lashed out and fucked everything up.

"We were in the middle of a sting when her friend came to town." Oliver began on autopilot. "She was having a hard time keeping her friend in the dark. She went out for drinks with the friend while the team went after the guy without her." He closed his eyes, remembering. "We got the guy, but it was too late to save the girl he'd kidnapped. I just went to the bar that I knew she'd be in because I was angry and upset and she  _grounds_ me. But then she was there with her friend and I heard her laugh and everything got kind of fuzzy." He sighed sadly. "I panicked. I slipped again, going to a woman who wasn't mine."

"So you screwed it all up." Ben suggested, tone full of understanding.

_Beautiful goodbye_

_It's dripping from your eyes_

"I'd like to talk about the conversation before she left." Ben started.

Oliver's finger drew a lazy pattern on his jeans. He hadn't slept much since their last session. Understanding just why he'd done what he'd done didn't make him feel better. He knew the disease now, but couldn't seem to find the cure.

"She cried. Told me nothing that I didn't deserve." Oliver blinked rapidly at the moisture gathering in his eyes. "She kissed me. Then told me that I'd just given up the future that she'd wanted, that she'd been so sure I wanted."

Ben stared at him. "Was she right? Did she describe the future you wanted?"

Oliver shook his head. "No, because I'd never allowed myself to think about it. I never allowed myself to think that far ahead. But when she described it," He exhaled sharply. "Jesus, I've thought about it every day since."

_When did the rain become a storm?_

_When did the clouds begin to form?_

_Yeah, we got knocked off course by a natural force_

_And we'll, we'll be swimming when it's gone_


	5. WE ARE BROKEN

_I am outside_  
And I've been waiting for the sun  
With my wide eyes  
I've seen worlds that don't belong

Felicity Smoak hated her job. There was really nothing for it.

She could have done anything when she quit Queen Consolidated. She could have started her own tech firm, or at the very least done freelance tech work. She'd had the opportunity to really start over again. To build a new life for herself, from scratch.

But Felicity didn't  _want_ a new life. She hadn't then and she didn't now.

The problem was that she didn't want a life where she worked 9-5 and then went  _home_  like other people. She didn't want to have so many free hours to watch her favorite TV shows. She didn't enjoy going out to clubs when the only purpose was to  _party_.

If she was being honest, and Felicity had always been honest, she wasn't interested in being  _normal._ She wanted to work twelve hour days for a boss who couldn't do his job without her. She wanted to eat takeout in her car on the way to her  _other_ job, the one that she really lived for. There was nothing interesting about a bar or a club if she wasn't helping take down the scum who owned it or partied there. She'd rather binge watch TV on those rare days off anyway.

It had been sixteen months since she'd last guided Team Arrow through an abandoned warehouse. Sixteen months since she'd felt like a hero.

"There you are!" Lyla called to her from across the café.

Felicity dug through her purse and dropped cash on the table. She moved quickly towards her friend and her godson. A smile lifted her lips as Andy reached towards her from his stroller.

"Sorry I'm late." Lyla said after Felicity had hugged her and kissed Andy's hair.

Felicity shrugged and the two of them set off down the street. It had become something of a routine for them. They always met during their lunch hour on Tuesday afternoons and window-shopped in the shopping district downtown.

"How's that new boss of yours?" Lyla asked as they stared at the mannequins on display in the window of a designer boutique.

Felicity groaned and shot her friend a look. "I don't know what it is about me, but I always manage to have the most  _incompetent_ buffoons for IT supervisors."

Her new boss  _Tim_ had a lesser degree than she did and all the people skills of a rotten walnut. He was impossible to please and very rarely did any IT work himself.

Lyla chuckled as she handed Andy his sippy cup and snacks. "Maybe it's time to move on. You've hated Johnston's tech division since you started there."

Felicity nodded, placating Lyla. They both knew she had no intention of quitting. They both knew she didn't want to move on. She was in a holding pattern.

Her thoughts were interrupted when a handsome man stepped into their path and grinned down at Andy. "Hey, little dude. You're getting huge."

"Ben!" Lyla exclaimed with a laugh. "Good to know who you love best." She jerked a thumb in his direction while mock-whispering to Felicity. "This jerk has been my friend for _ever_ but he only has eyes for the kid."

Ben winked at Lyla before stepping forward and hugging her tightly. "Don't be jealous, Lyla. The kid is cute." He stepped back and glanced over at Felicity. His eyes narrowed slightly before his grin widened.

"Sorry, Ben this is Felicity-"

"Smoak." Ben interrupted to the bemusement of Lyla and confusion of Felicity.

"Um, I'm sorry. Have we met?" Felicity wondered awkwardly. She had a feeling she wouldn't forget a man with a grin like that.

He chuckled and shook his head. "No. Sorry. My name is Ben Williamson." They shook hands briefly. "I've just heard so much about you."

Lyla cleared her throat meaningfully and shot Ben a reproachful look. Felicity glanced between the two of them, totally confused. Lyla looked irritated and Ben simply looked smug.

Ben glanced at her to-go cup and grinned. "Tea, right?"

Felicity glanced at Lyla quickly before nodding. "How did you know?"

Ben tapped his nose sagely. "It's Tuesday."

"Right…" She wrinkled her nose, totally confused. "How do you two know each other?" Felicity questioned, trying to get a clearer picture of what was going on.

"We work together at A.R.G.U.S." Ben provided. "I'm the resident shrink."

And just like that it hit her. Her mouth formed an O in surprise and she suddenly understood. He hadn't heard about her from Lyla or Dig. He wasn't some guy they planned on setting her up with in the near future. He'd heard all about her from Oliver. She blinked stupidly up at him for several excruciating seconds.

"You're a shrink." She repeated stupidly.

"I am." He agreed, reaching down to tickle Andy's feet.

"Which is why you know that I drink tea on Tuesdays."

"And Wednesdays." He confirmed cheerfully.

"Ben," Lyla chided slowly.

Felicity stared as the man in front of her bit back his smile and shrugged a shoulder apologetically. "I'm sorry. It's just strange."

"What is?" The question was past her lips before she could think it through.

Ben smiled sadly at her. "I've heard so much about you that I feel like I know you. Only good things, I promise. Although, I'm sure you have at least one flaw."

His tone had turned teasing but she'd barely heard his final words. She spun on her heel and walked away from them. Lyla called after her but she didn't respond. Her mind was racing as she travelled throughout the business core of the Sterling City. Her feet travelled a familiar path without her mind consciously deciding on the journey.

"Felicity?"

Her head snapped up and the fog cleared as she stared up at Jimmy. She looked around her and realised she was standing in the lobby of QC. She cleared her throat and tried to smile as she turned back to the security guard.

"Hi, Jimmy."

Something in her smile must have been off because his own drooped. He glanced over his shoulder and cleared his throat. "Go on up."

 _Go on up_.

She nodded and walked towards the executive elevator. Pressing the button required more willpower than she'd have liked. The lift arrived quickly and she stepped on. As the doors closed behind her she took a deep breath. There were no buttons to push. This elevator only went to one place.

The ride ended all too quickly. The door popped open and she found herself staring across the floor at her former office. She stumbled off of the lift and the sound of her heels on the hardwood echoed around her.

Her eyes landed upon an older, kindly-looking woman sitting at her old desk. She pushed open the glass door and stepped into the office. Her hands started to shake as she realised just where she was.

"Oh! Hello, Dear." The woman cried out kindly. Felicity met her blue eyes and found only warmth there.

"Hi." Felicity mumbled nervously. She breathed in deeply before blowing out a loud breath. "I don't have an appointment."

What was she doing here? He'd never had time for unscheduled visitors before. She took a step back and began to turn to leave.

"You don't need an appointment, Dear." The woman replied gently.

Felicity stared at her in surprise. "He's not busy?"

The older woman chuckled. "He's not too busy to see you, Miss Smoak."

Felicity's eyes dropped to the nametag on the desk briefly. Leslie Mills. "You know who I am?" She asked quickly.

"Of course, Dear." Leslie winked at her. "Your picture has been sitting on his desk since I began here."

Felicity's mouth popped open for the umpteenth time that day. She shook her head and glanced over at the mahogany walls. "When did he put up the walls?"

Leslie laughed in a way that reminded Felicity of her grandmother. "Sometime after his pretty assistant quit and he was stuck looking at me instead."

A laugh bubbled out from her chest and Leslie's grin widened. "Go in, Sweetheart."

Felicity's smile vanished but she nodded her head and walked past the older woman. She paused outside the door before raising a trembling hand to knock on the wood. She heard his muffled 'come in' and almost turned back.

"Courage, Miss Smoak." Leslie encouraged from behind her.

Instead of causing anger, her words caused her to push forward. Her hand found the door handle and she pushed against it. The door gave way and she followed it into the office. She froze as her eyes landed upon Oliver Queen for the first time in a lifetime. His hair was slightly longer than it had been when she'd seen him last. He was clad in one of her favourite grey suits. His attention was on the document that he was signing on his desk.

The door snapped shut behind her and he glanced up from his work. His tired grey eyes widened and then snapped shut. He shook his head once and muttered something under his breath. She watched, fascinated as he took several deep breaths before reopening his eyes. His mouth popped open in surprise and he dropped his pen on the desk.

He hadn't believed she was really there, she realised. He'd thought his tired brain was playing tricks on him.

"Hello, Oliver." She whispered into the room.

He stood slowly but made no move towards her. "Felicity."

Her fists clenched at her sides as the word washed over her. How was it possible that she hadn't heard his voice, heard her own name said in that loving cadence in almost a year and a half?

She walked towards his desk and he watched her warily as she approached. Her hand reached for the frame beside his computer monitor as she came to a stop in front of his desk. If he noticed the way her fingers shook before they closed around the picture, he said nothing. She took a deep breath before looking at the picture in her hands. Her teeth captured her bottom lip as she remembered the moment the picture had been taken.

"It's my favorite." Oliver told her quietly.

"Why?" She mumbled thickly, fighting the tears. Her thumb traced the outline of the frame. It wasn't a great picture of her. She was wearing little makeup and her hair was frizzed out after a day at the beach.

Oliver's hand gently pulled the frame from her hands and placed it carefully back on his desk. Her eyes remained on the frame.

"You were happy. We were all happy. And as we sat on that beach and you smiled for the camera, you'd never been more beautiful." He replied carefully.

"Good answer." She murmured before turning away from him and moving over to the windows looking out across the city.

It shouldn't be so comfortable. She should feel like yelling, shouldn't she? She had been so hurt and so angry for so long.

And yet, there was no denying that just being in the same room as him made her feel more like herself than she had in 16 months.

"I miss being a hero, Oliver." She confided as she looked out across the city that she had once spent every night protecting.

He was silent as she turned to face him. "I haven't been me since I stopped."

He nodded and leaned against his desk. "Why are you here, Felicity?"

His words weren't accusatory, merely curious. His eyes held both caution and hope.

"I think it's time we talked, don't you?" She replied without thinking.

The smallest of smiles crossed his lips and she realised just how true her words were.

_My mouth is dry with words I cannot verbalize  
Tell me why we live like this_

 


	6. EVERYTHING WILL CHANGE

_Back when it used to hurt_  
Took you a little while just to find the words  
Losing, well, it sometimes burns, but you keep moving on

She was so beautiful. How was it possible that he hadn't laid eyes on her for eighteen months?

"Would you like to sit down?" Oliver asked politely, unsure of what to do. He'd been praying for this moment for a year and a half now but he was at a total loss. Why was she just standing there, staring at him?

She blinked and hesitated before nodding slowly. "Thanks."

He gestured towards the couches, uncomfortable as he was bombarded with memories of all the times they'd sat there, chatting over lunch or planning for the newest mission. She sat down and crossed her legs. He did his best not to just drop into his own seat.

She opened her mouth but quickly shut it again. He cleared his throat but had no idea what to say. The two of them just stared at each other. After several moments of tense silence, Felicity chuckled. His chest ached even as a smile crossed his lips, stretching the muscles in his cheeks that had gone unused for so long now. He'd missed her laugh. He'd missed smiling.

"This is really awkward, isn't it?" She mused thoughtfully.

She had a point and yet…

"But it isn't at the same time. This should be weird. We haven't seen each other in forever. And the last time we saw each other…" She trailed off uncertainly.

"The last time we saw each other you said a lot of things that I needed to hear." Oliver assured her.

Felicity nodded and looked away for a moment. Oliver took the moment to properly look her over. His greedy eyes traced the gentle lines of her face, the soft slope of her neck. He could just barely make out the freckles on her nose.

He sighed. He would gladly spend forever here with her in silence. But she hadn't come for that reason and the time for being selfish with her was over, it should never have happened in the first place. "Felicity, why are you here?"

His tone was soft, careful to avoid any misunderstanding. He in no way wanted her to leave. That was the very last thing he wanted. But she had come for a reason and she was clearly struggling with how to proceed. She raised her chin and met his gaze.

"I told you, it's time to talk." She hedged and he furrowed his brows.

"Why today? It's been a year and a half, Felicity. You said you never wanted to see me again and you meant it. And I deserve it. Please don't misunderstand me, I'm so happy to see you." He scratched his head. "Why today?"

Felicity nibbled on her bottom lip and he found it  _very_ distracting. "Ben Williamson."

Oliver blew out a breath and sat back against the couch. That was  _not_ what he was expecting.

"I um, met him while I was out with Lyla." She rubbed her nose. "He seemed to know a lot about me."

A bark of laughter escaped his lips. That would be an understatement. Ben knew more about Felicity than her own mother did. He was suddenly wondering if perhaps he had overstepped, somehow betrayed her even further by telling Ben so much about her.

"I'm sorry. There was a lot that I needed to," He paused thoughtfully, "Process after everything. Being who I am makes therapy particularly difficult. He was a friend of mine at A.R.G.U.S. I didn't need to hide anything from him, so I didn't. But I didn't consider that you might not like to be talked about. I'm sorry if-"

"It's fine, Oliver." She assured him. "I was just a little surprised when a total stranger knew what my morning beverage was on Tuesdays. And Wednesdays apparently."

"So you met Ben. And here you are." He summarised.

There was a knock at the door and they both turned towards it as Leslie poked her head in the door. "Sorry, Mr. Queen. It would seem that your noon meeting cancelled. And wouldn't you know it? Your two o'clock and four o'clock cancelled as well." He almost laughed as she failed horribly to hide her grin. "So I think I'll just head home for the day. I've rescheduled all of your meetings. So  _unfortunate,_ but now you have the whole afternoon off! It was lovely to meet you, Miss Smoak. I'll see you tomorrow, Oliver dear."

The door closed behind her and the tension in the room disappeared as the two of them started laughing. He adored Leslie Mills and he had from the first time he'd met her. She reminded him of Raisa. She was about as subtle as a jackhammer but he'd have to thank her for clearing his schedule. This conversation was important and she understood that without being told.

"She's something." Felicity commented. "She seems to enjoy her job more than your last assistant."

He recognized the lighthearted jab for what it was and smiled. "Well, Leslie Mills has been an assistant her whole life. She doesn't have a degree in something other than the secretarial arts to tempt her elsewhere. Although my last assistant did a hell of a job, despite how much she hated it."

The faintest of smiles crossed her face and she nodded, accepting the compliment.

"I'm not really sure why I'm here." She admitted, fidgeting with her skirt.

"How about we start with why you're  _not_ here then?" He suggested, preparing for the pain her answers would likely cause.

Felicity folded her hands together and nibbled on her lip before straightening her shoulders. "I'm not here for the big apology. I'm not ready for that conversation just yet. I know you're sorry. I just can't deal with that yet." She inhaled deeply. "I'm not here to ask you to love me, or to love you either. That isn't an option. I can't think about it."

Oliver's jaw cracked under the strain as he fought to control his features. It was pointless because Felicity had always known everything he was thinking and feeling. But her words were truth and they were deserved.

"That narrows it down a bit." He replied evenly. "You want to be a part of the team again."

It wasn't a question. He knew it and so did she. She missed being a hero. The irony of it all was that she had never stopped being a hero. She was the reason that he donned that hood every night. She was no longer a part of the team so he did his best to make her proud, in her name, whether she knew it or not.

The team hadn't been much of a team since she'd left. And Felicity wouldn't be Felicity if she hadn't missed the lair and being a part of something important.

Felicity nodded. "There wasn't a day where I didn't wish I was there. Reading about the Arrow in the newspaper is less fun when I had nothing to do with it."

He leaned forward and caught her eye. "Felicity, you will  _always_ have a place on the team. Always."

His heart constricted painfully as he watched her brush a tear away from her eye.

"How does that work? How do we work together?" She asked finally. "How do we get past this?"

Oliver stood and walked over to the window. He gazed out at the city below him as he thought over his answer. In a perfect world there would be no complications. He would apologize and spend the rest of his life making it up to her. They would be a team again and there would be no drama.

But their world wasn't perfect.

"We learn how to be partners again." He replied finally.

He turned to face her and she nodded. But they both knew that there was nothing simple about that.

 _Hey, before it gets too late_  
Before the night is over, before the world's awake  
Everything will change  
Hey, I feel it coming on  
Starting like a fire, tonight you lit the flame  
Now everything will change

 


	7. EVERYTHING WILL CHANGE PT 2

_Take those boots off the shelf_

_Wipe that dust of yourself_

_Even if you've been through hell; you're back_

Felicity ran her hand across the smooth desk in front of her and a sigh of pleasure passed her lips. She'd been back for three weeks and she still couldn't quite believe it. She was  _home_. After just sort of _existing_ for so long she was finally back in the basement of Verdant. Her heart still sped up as she approached the secret entrance and a grin still overtook her face as the hum of her computers filled the large basement.

How had she lived without this for so long?

"Felicity?" Oliver's voice over the comms snapped her back to attention. Her fingers flew over the keyboards,  _her_ keyboards, as she pulled up the data he needed to find their newest target.

"He's in the alley between Main and Hastings. He's likely meeting with a buyer for those guns." She glanced quickly at her second screen. "You're two minutes out."

"Thank you." Oliver replied quietly before they fell into radio silence.

Things remained awkward between the two of them. It was the only sour note in the symphony that was once again her life. She wasn't even sure if the awkwardness stemmed from Oliver, from herself or both of them. He was clearly happy to have her there, even if he had been much less vocal about it than Roy and Diggle. She saw it in the way his eyes smiled even as he bit the inside of his mouth to keep his lips from following suit. She shouldn't still be able to read him so well.

He'd been polite and welcoming but he'd kept his distance. They hadn't quite found their footing yet but they were well on their way to becoming a team once more. She guided Team Arrow through their missions and he relied on her once more for intel. He thanked her each night over the comms, perhaps because he knew she'd always be gone by the time he returned.

She wasn't avoiding him exactly. It was just that she needed a life outside of the Team. The first time around she allowed no time for a social life and then suddenly she was off the team with too much time on her hands and no idea how to spend it. She needed a healthy middle ground. And if she spent her nights in her PJs eating ice cream and watching Doctor Who, well that was just nobody's business.

Things were awkward between the two of them, but she wasn't willing to look too deeply into the root of it. She wasn't an idiot. She knew that there were still feelings there. She knew just how much she had to mean to him for Oliver to have taken the steps to figure his issues out. He quite possibly loved her. And the idea that she maybe still loved him wasn't entirely outside the realm of possibility.

But she wasn't ready for that. She wasn't ready to delve too deeply into her psyche or his. She was a part of the team again. She was a hero. She had spent the last year and a half avoiding moving on with her life. She had wasted too much time doing a job she hated for a company she didn't like.

"Park around the corner, Guys. I don't think he's alone." Felicity suggested to the three men in her ear.

"Copy that." Roy replied.

It was time to make something of her life. The first step had been coming back here, coming  _home_. Now it was time to quit her awful job and really go for it. She'd been dreaming of opening her own IT business since she was in pigtails. She had the skill, the genius and the necessary business savvy. She could pull it off. She'd saved every penny over the past several years and she had enough. She was pondering possible names for her company when the sounds of a fight filled her earpiece. Her back straightened and her body tensed as she listened to the fight. She heard Oliver grunt in pain and her knuckles whitened around the edge of her desk. Oliver  _never_ acknowledged pain.

Her stomach was a ball of nerves as she listened to John shouting directions at Roy. Her lips were pressed together tightly to keep herself from worrying out loud.

She tried not to think about the fact that Oliver hadn't said anything since he'd been hurt. She tried not to worry or care about the fact that he might be bleeding out again or –

"Felicity?" Roy barked in her ear. "We need the med table ready."

He said nothing else but his tone told her everything she needed to know. Oliver was hurt. She jumped to her feet, swaying in her heels for a moment before she raced around the basement gathering supplies. A tear slipped down her cheek as she pushed the defibrillator towards the med table. She placed her palms on the cool table and bowed her head. Breathing deeply, she did her best to calm down.

She was just worried about a teammate.

The door at the top of the stairs opened as Roy and Dig staggered in, carrying an unconscious Oliver between the two of them. Felicity froze as her eyes swept over Oliver, assessing for the injury. His eye was blackened beneath the hood and blood dripped steadily from his nose. She held her breath as her gaze trailed lower.

"No!" She gasped quietly as her eyes landed on the growing red stain on his jacket just over his abdomen. Dig and Roy lifted him onto the table and her fingers immediately went to the hole in his jacket. She gasped again as his blood ran freely beneath her fingers. She snapped into action and stripped his jacket.

"Knife wound." Dig explained needlessly. She could see that. He blew out a long breath. "Serrated blade."

Felicity nodded tearfully as she cleaned the wound that just wouldn't  _stop_ bleeding. Her hands shook and Dig covered them with his own. She fought for control before meeting his worried gaze.

"I've got this. I need you to stitch Roy up." He jerked his head in the younger man's direction. "He caught that blade too but he's downplaying it."

Of course he was, she thought hysterically. Could he  _be_ any more like Oliver? She set her jaw and turned away from Oliver without another glance. Roy needed her help and she knew that she needed a bit of space at the moment. Dig would have leveled with her if he needed her help or if he thought Oliver was truly in danger.

As she stitched up Roy's own wound, glaring at his protests, she realised that maybe this whole working together thing might be even harder than she'd thought. Somehow she'd forgotten the outright terror she felt whenever Oliver got hurt. Apparently their time apart had not only  _not_ lessened that fear, it had actually made it worse. Because she'd lived the last 18 months without Oliver Queen.

And she just wasn't sure that she could do it again.

When he woke up four hours later and his eyes searched frantically before landing upon her, she realised that she wasn't the only one struggling down here.

_Hey, before it gets too late_

_Before the night is over, before the world's awake_

_Everything will change_

_Hey, I feel it coming on_

_Starting like a fire, tonight you lit the flame_

_Now everything will change_

 


	8. All Of Me

_My head's under water_

_But I'm breathing fine_

_You're crazy and I'm out of my mind_

It had been two months since Felicity had come back to Team Arrow. The tension between her and Oliver had finally lessened to a more comfortable level. Well, if she could ignore if terror she felt when he was injured or when the comms malfunctioned and he didn’t answer her right away.

“Just peachy.” She muttered to herself.

She had quit her horrible job and said goodbye to her miserable boss for good. Oracle ltd. had hit the ground running and Felicity would need to hire staff soon. She had spent the last week with a real estate agent looking for office space to lease. Soon Oracle would be operating with a full staff out of an office building and not out of her living room.

It was hard to imagine that just two months ago life had been so miserable. No things had certainly improved. Life was good. It was. Everything was coming up Felicity.

A wolf-whistle dragged her head out of the clouds. Roy was smirking at her from the training mats where he’d been working out with John.

“You look nice. Hot date?” He teased, catching the towel that John threw his way and wiping his face.

Felicity blushed and ran a hand over the skirt of her dress. Oliver joined them as she answered him. “As a matter of fact, I do. John, you’ll need to cover the comms, tonight. Is that okay?”

“Of course, Felicity.” John agreed. He smiled. “And you look very nice.”

She smiled at him and rolled her eyes at Roy who was winking in her direction. Oliver caught her eye and smiled before turning to Roy. “We need to get going so we can intercept that shipment. I’ll meet you down there in 20 minutes.”

She gathered her things together and checked that all of her programs were running. It was silly to fret about leaving them for one night. They’d survived without her for over a year and a half. One night off would be fine.

“Go.” Oliver’s voice interrupted her worrying. She spun on her heel and faced him. He was in his Arrow gear, holding his bow. “You deserve a night off. Have fun.”

Felicity frowned as he walked past her and out the door.

* * *

 

_What would I do without your smart mouth?_

_Drawing me in, and you kicking me out_

It bothered her the whole ride to the restaurant. He had been perfectly polite. Kind even. There had been no forced civility. It hadn’t been like when he’d been upset about her visiting Barry Allen.

Felicity tried to force it from her mind. She had a date to enjoy. One she’d been looking forward to all week.

* * *

 

_You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down_

The Dorchester Grand was one of the most elegant hotels in Starling city. The ballroom that she was currently sitting in was decorated with crystal and tapestry.

It was intimidating for a first date. But Ray Palmer had charmed her so completely that she’d barely understood his invitation out for a date in the first place.

The two of them had met the week previous. She was working on a major virus that had attacked Alachnet’s system when she’d been called to a consult. She’d met Ray Palmer at a coffee shop and found herself immediately tested by a man who was almost as technologically savvy as she was.

_Felicity looked up from the computer that she had just fixed after an hour of hardcore hacking. She stared at the man across from her with a shrewd eye._

_“Either you’re trouble with a capital T, and into some stuff I don’t want to know about. Or you did this to your computer and all of this was a test.” She challenged finally._

_Ray Palmer’s eyes widened and he chuckled. “Not bad, Miss Smoak. I’m not into anything criminal.”_

_She leaned back in her chair, still studying him. She ignored his handsome features and his charm in favour of deciding whether or not he was a threat._

_“So then why the cloak and dagger?”_

_Ray Palmer clapped his hands together and laughed. “I was scouting the competition. You see Miss Smoak, My company could always use talent like yours. In fact I had intended on making an offer back when you worked for Johnson. But then here you are, Oracle.”_

_Felicity tapped a finger against the table. She had questions for him but had decided he wasn’t a threat. “I’m not looking for a job.”_

_Palmer grinned. “Well how about a date then?”_

Ray Palmer was the CEO of Palmer Industries. She knew that his fortune matched if not exceeded what the Queen’s once had. She also knew that he was peacocking by bringing her here. But first dates were difficult and maybe he had low self-esteem. During their first meeting she had proved to be the greater mind. During their first date he was throwing his money around.

There was a small unwelcome part of her that couldn’t help thinking of another wealthy CEO who would never wave his money around on a first date. Or in any situation unless the Arrow business called for it.

That wasn’t to say she wasn’t enjoying herself. The food was delicious. And the conversation was rousing. Ray Palmer knew coding. And Felicity loved to talk about coding.

The two of them had both gone to school at MIT.

Ray Palmer had the familiar habit of babbling. Felicity found it comforting to see on someone else.

And yet, as much as she was enjoying conversing with a good-looking likeminded individual, Oliver’s words from earlier kept niggling at the back of her mind.

Oliver had told her to have fun. And she was. Ray Palmer was good-looking and kind and they had some things in common.

In fact Oliver’s words had been no different than Roy’s or John’s would be.

Huh.

* * *

_What's going on in that beautiful mind_

_I'm on your magical mystery ride_

_And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright_

Ray walked Felicity to her car and she smiled up at him. He took a step closer and her smile faltered.

“Thanks for a lovely evening. Goodnight!”

She all but threw herself into her car. He was still standing on the side of the road looking confused as her car disappeared around the corner.

She’d had fun. In fact Ray was the first guy she’d had anything in common with in years. He was smart and funny and a little bit awkward. And he liked her.

But did she like him?

* * *

_My head's under water_

_But I'm breathing fine_

_You're crazy and I'm out of my mind_

Felicity found herself walking down the stairs into the lair. There had been no conscious decision to drive there instead of home. But she wasn’t particularly surprised.

She noticed immediately that John had gone home already. Roy’s suit was hung up in the case already but Oliver’s was missing. She could hear him moving around in the shower area and sat at her desk.

Oliver would have heard her come in but he still looked surprised to see her there. Whether it was because he’d assumed her date would have gone another way or because she’d be tried after or because it was almost midnight. Or likely it was because this was the first time that the two of them had been alone together in the lair since she’d quit the team. And this time she’d actively sought him out.

She watched as he hung up his suit and zipped up his hoody before he made his way over to her desk. He hopped up on the surface a few feet away from her, leaving space but making it clear that she had his full attention.

“I had a date tonight, Oliver.”

He nodded his head, waiting for her to continue.

“I told you I had a date and you saw me before it and you told me to take the night off and have fun.” She recapped for him.

Oliver’s eyebrows wrinkled as if he was trying to solve a puzzle with only a few pieces. “I know I’ve been a jerk about work-life balance in the past but-“

“You told me to have fun. And you _meant_ it.” And he had. That’s what had bothered her. He’d wished her well just like the others had. Even if that was with someone else.

Oliver stared into her eyes for a moment and then looked away. “Of course I meant it, Felicity.”

It stung. She knew that he cared about her and that he wanted her to be happy but it just _burned._ “How can you be okay with me dating other people?” She brushed a tear away from her cheek and suddenly she was furious. She felt so stupid. She was on her feet and she was yelling now. She didn’t even know who she was angry with. “How are you just _fine_ with it? I’d be so fucking furious if you were dating someone else. I wouldn’t tell you to have fun, Oliver. And I damn well wouldn’t mean it. Don’t tell me to have fun. Why doesn’t this hurt you? Why does this hurt me instead?”

Oliver stared up at her with weary eyes. His hands were loose in his lap and a part of her wanted him to reach for her the way that he always had before. But he wouldn’t.

“I never said I was fine with it. I didn’t say that seeing you with someone else wouldn’t break my heart, Felicity. I didn’t say that I want you to date other people.” He sighed as his eyes searched hers. “It does hurt me and it will hurt me. There is no one else for me. It’s you. It’s only ever going to be you. But that doesn’t make you mine. You might never be mine. I know how I feel about you. But you aren’t ready to hear about that. You might never be ready to hear about that.” He stood and brushed past her on his way out. “I love you too much to _hold_ you back.”

And then he was gone.

_Give your all to me_

_I'll give my all to you_

_You're my end and my beginning_

_Even when I lose I'm winning_

* * *

 

 

 

 


	9. Home

_Hold on to me as we go_

_As we roll down this unfamiliar road_

_And although this wave, wave is stringing us along_

* * *

 

Felicity sat primly on the barstool and smiled at the bartender as he refilled her martini. She gave the ballroom what appeared to be a casual glance as she searched for their target. She could hear Dig speaking rapidly in her ear as he and Roy moved through the building as maintenance and culinary workers respectively. She spied Oliver across the room, surrounded by beautiful women and sharp businessmen. Her casual glance held a little longer than necessary as an attractive redhead in a blue dress ran a hand over Oliver’s arm seductively. The woman was exactly the type of woman that Oliver would have taken home before-

Oliver excused himself politely and left the small group behind. Felicity’s lips twitched into a smirk as the redhead pouted in his wake before folding her arms and turning to talk to one of the other men. Oliver shot a smile in Felicity’s direction before striking up a conversation with a business associate as far from the redhead as the ballroom would allow. She snuck another glance at the group of women and snorted indelicately when she saw the redhead glaring in Oliver’s direction. She felt Oliver’s questioning gaze on her. Realising her amusement must have sounded over the intercoms, Felicity turned back towards the bartender.

“Would you like another, Miss Smoak?” He asked politely.

She nodded with a smile. “Put it on my bill, please.” A familiar voice interrupted.

Felicity caught the roll of the eyes that the bartender tried to hide before she turned to face Ray Palmer. “How kind, Mr. Palmer. But as it’s a free bar. I’m afraid the sentiment is a bit lost.”

This time they both heard the bartender snort. Ray Palmer looked a little stunned to have been called out but quickly smoothed his features and grinned boyishly. “Then I’ll just have to take you out again.”

Felicity’s grin slipped just a fraction. It had been a month since their last date and she hadn’t called. It perhaps wasn’t fair to compare him to Oliver but there were too many similarities where Ray just…lost in comparison. And he was a bit smarmy.

“Your martini is ready, Miss Smoak.” The bartender announced. Felicity jolted, realising she had just been staring at Ray without answering.

She turned to smile at the man with thankful eyes and pulled a crisp twenty from her clutch. “Thank you, Evan.”

He tapped the side of his nose and began wiping down the counter, keeping one eye on the situation.

Ray was still standing there although his smile was a little less hopeful now.

“So how have things been at Palmer?” Felicity asked instead of answering his suggestion of a date.

She tried not to wince when she heard Roy snickering in her ear and a cough of amusement from Oliver. Her gaze twitched in his direction before she regained control. The dislike between himself and Ray went back to grade school from what she could gather. She’d read an article in the business section where Ray had outright taunted Oliver’s misfortune at Queen industries.

Ray frowned in disappointment before he began filling her in on the latest tech developments that his company was working on. His excitement was catchy but the warmth he’d greeted her with never quite returned to his tone.

He was clearly interested in only one thing from her.

_“I’m in_.” Dig’s voice echoed through her ear. She listened as he moved through the secret bunker beneath their feet and took out the two guards hidden there. She nodded occasionally before excusing herself to the ladies’ room. She locked herself in a stall and pulled the USB stick out of the hollowed point of her left heel. She stopped in front of the mirror and fixed her lipstick before leaving the loo. Dropping the stick into an empty champagne flute, she placed it on Roy’s tray as he passed her by.

She made her way back into the ballroom and was pulled into a dance by Oliver as they listened to their teammates complete the mission. Roy made his way to Dig and they used the USB stick to gain entry to vault.

“Were you able to get close enough?” Oliver’s voice rumbled in her ear.

It was too late now if she hadn’t but she understood his concern. “Yes, he talked the whole time we danced. I asked him about the difference between Starling city and Japan. And he barely took a breath.”

Oliver spun her in his arms as Dig and Roy played the voice recording on the USB stick. Felicity held her breath and smiled when she heard the beep and the click of the locks opening.

“You’re a genius!” Oliver exclaimed quietly.

It had all come together quite nicely. A bit of Oracle tech and Felicity’s favourite heels to hide it. And their impossible mission suddenly didn’t seem quite so impossible. All it had taken was a pretty girl with a mic’d ring and a Bluetooth USB to get past the voice recognition software.

Felicity and Oliver danced as they listened to Roy pack up the ammunition onto his food cart and Dig take apart the weapon for easy transport.

It was only after Dig was out of the building and driving around the back to meet Roy that Felicity realised that she had been in Oliver’s arms this whole time. She could blame it on the worry about her friends. She could point out the concern she had for that massive weapon being in the hands of the Triad.

But if she was being honest with herself, being pulled into Oliver’s arms had felt like coming home and she hadn’t even thought about it. It was all a ruse so that they would be together if things went sideways and could communicate easily. Besides people knew that there was history between the two of them and no one would question it.

But she didn’t pull away even after Dig pulled away and Roy walked into the room carrying a tray of French pastry looking nonchalant. She made no move to put space between them. It was only after Roy caught Oliver’s eye, and he looked sorry to do so, that they pulled apart.

Oliver looked down at her with a pained smile and she could tell that there were words he wanted to say but instead he squeezed her hand. “You should leave before the Arrow shows up.”

Felicity nodded and watched him go. But she couldn’t help but wish he’d said whatever he’d wanted to. Because she missed him.

She felt eyes on her and she looked to her left and saw Ray Palmer watching her with an annoyed expression before he turned his attention back to the same redhead who’d tried to catch Oliver’s earlier.

“Come on, Lis.” She heard over the comms and nodded without looking over at Roy. She made her way over to the exit and waved to the friendly, helpful bartender before walking out.

***

Dig had already gotten the weapon downstairs when she arrived at the lair. He was writing out the specs for it as he picked up each piece. His attention was completely on the weapon and so Felicity moved over to her desk and sat in front of the computers. She typed her code and then she was in the mainframe of the ballroom. She watched the activity of the people she’d just left. Daiki Ando was still holding court with fellow businessmen.

“Alright boys, the crowd has thinned by about 10%. Daiki is still there. His board members are still around.” She waited for confirmation. “Alright, on three, two, one.”

Felicity cut the power and listened to the screams before she brought back one solitary light in the room. She saw Daiki looking for exits, undeniably aware of what was going on. “He’s looking for the exits. He’s in the centre left of the ballroom. Twenty feet from the south exit.”

_“Daiki Ando!”_ The Arrow roared over the din and the room went silent. Daiki ran for it but the Red Arrow landed in front of him and pushed him back. The guests looked around trying to find the Arrow. _“It is time for you to admit to your crimes!”_

Felicity watched as the Japanese businessman cowered in front of the Red Arrow as the Arrow’s voice echoed through the ballroom. She noticed Ray Palmer backing towards the backdoor. “Ray Palmer is acting a bit sketchy.” She hacked into the systems and slammed the doors shut in an emergency sequence. She watched as Ray Palmer whirled around in anger.

The Arrow landed gracefully on his feet in front of Daiki. _“Daiki, you are charged with supplying weapons of mass destruction to the Chinese Triad. How do you plea?”_

Daiki’s eyes widened and he looked around before shaking his head. _“You’re wrong. I-“_

_“So the warhead we took from the basement tonight isn’t yours?” The Arrow snapped._

Daiki jumped to his feet. “ _You took it? They’ll kill me!”_

_“So you plead guilty then?”_ The Arrow replied.

There was banging on the doors as sirens could be heard outside the doors. Felicity flicked the power once more and when the lights came back on both the Arrow and the Red Arrow were gone. The doors opened for the police and Lance stormed into the ballroom to find Daiki Ando waiting in handcuffs for him.

“ _Just what the hell happened here?”_

Felicity watched as the guests all started shouting over each other to explain the crimes that their host had committed before she logged out of the security feed.

“Good job, fellas.” She announced over the comms. “You’ve got a hundred witnesses clamouring to put him away.”

“Good.” Oliver’s rough timbre replied. “We’re going to patrol for a few hours.”

“Thanks, ‘Lis. Goodnight.” Roy added.

Felicity watched as Dig finished cleaning up the weapons bay. He gave her a quick wave before heading towards the door. Her eyes settled on the weapon and her thoughts wandered to the dance she’d shared for so long that evening.

* * *

 

_Settle down, it'll all be clear_

_Don't pay no mind to the demons_

_They fill you with fear_

_The trouble—it might drag you down_

_If you get lost, you can always be found_

_Just know you're not alone_

_'Cause I'm gonna make this place your home_

 

 


	10. Still Into You

**_Can't count the years on one hand that we've been together_ **

**_I need the other one to hold you_ **

**_Make you feel, make you feel better_ **

**_It's not a walk in the park_ **

* * *

 

_“Officer down! Officer down!”_

 Felicity’s eyes widened in horror as she heard the call confirming it was Detective Lance whose life was hanging in the balance.

_“We can’t get out! The perp has us trapped in here! Can anyone hear us?”_

“Oliver!” She cried out over the comms. “Lance is down and emergency services can’t get to them.”

“ _Freeze!”_ Yelled the frightened police officer over the comms at the sight of the Arrow.

_“If you want the detective to live, you’ll let me help. The Jackal is still in the building!”_ Oliver growled.

Felicity’s nails dug half-moons into her hands as Oliver and Roy helped Officer Petty pull Detective Lance from the building while evading the booby-traps laid out for them by the Jackal. The sirens of arriving emergency vehicles sounded over the comms and Oliver told Petty to keep pressure on Lance’s wounds.

_“I’m on my way back_.” Oliver told Felicity.

She sat back in her chair and took a deep breath for the first time in 45 minutes. She was deeply shaken not just by the events but also by the tone of Oliver’s voice. He was spooked. She hadn’t heard that kind of fear since Slade Wilson had showed up with Mirakuru.

Felicity jumped when John walked in just before Roy and Oliver. “Dig! You have the night off!”

He held his hands up in supplication and frowned. “This takes priority. Lyla sent me over as soon as it came down the wire. This guy is trouble. All hands on deck.”

Felicity could see the sense in that and turned to see Roy limping slightly over to the med table. She hurried his way and poked him in the chest. “You didn’t say anything about being injured!”

“I’m just bruised some, Lis. It’s nothing compared to Lance. I’ll be fine.” He promised, brushing off her worried hands. He was watching Oliver’s tense shoulders across the room and Felicity followed his gaze.

“Oliver?” She asked quietly. He didn’t answer her immediately and the foundry was silent. She crossed the room and placed a gentle hand on his spine. The tension bled from his shoulders and she felt rather than heard him breathe heavily.

“We were almost too late. The Jackal laid out the perfect maze and if it weren’t for your schematics of the building we never would have made it to him in time. It might still –“ He trailed off but Felicity heard the unspoken words. _Lance might still not make it._

“I need a shower.” Oliver replied, as if he’d heard her thoughts. “We’ll regroup in 25 minutes. John can you please order some food. Felicity can you please dress those ribs of Roy’s? No arguments, Roy.” He turned to face Felicity. “I know it’s later than usual but I could really use your eyes on this. Are you able to stay for a few more hours?”

Felicity stared up at him and nodded blankly. His lips twitched in a half-smile and he headed for the shower. She heard John pull out his phone and order enough food to feed a small army. It took Roy calling her name before she snapped out of her stupor. She hurried back his way and checked over his ribs for any breaks, still lost in thought.

“I told you he had changed.” Roy murmured softly and her head snapped up to meet his gaze. He shrugged. “There’s nowhere else you would be tonight, not after that bastard hurt Lance. But he asked you to stay, made sure you knew how valuable you are. He didn’t expect you to just stick around.”

She bit her lip and continued working on patching up his ribs. Because that’s exactly what had shaken her up.

* * *

Oliver and Roy pulled two tables together to make a bigger conference table and Felicity pulled up all the info they had on the Jackal to the screens in front of the tables. Oliver was rubbing his hair with a towel when the door opened and John walked in with a bag full of food and a visitor.

“Will you look who I found snooping around outside?” He teased as he directed the man to deposit his own bag of food on the table.

“Ben!” Oliver greeted warmly. He stood and hugged the man before turning and introducing him to Roy. “Roy this is Ben, Ben this is Roy.”

Ben smiled at Roy. “I’ve heard a lot and if half of it is true then I’m honored.”

Roy grinned back and pulled Ben in for a hug. Ben looked surprised but accepted it nonetheless. “I think we owe you for putting up with this stubborn asshole. Thanks, man.”

Ben laughed and shook his head. “He’s not so bad.”

Oliver rolled his eyes, but there was a faint blush staining his cheeks as he glanced over at Felicity who was watching the exchange with some embarrassment and curiosity.

“And I believe you’ve already _met_  Felicity, Ben?” Ben turned towards Felicity and smiled widely. “Ah yes, the lovely Miss Smoak.” He shook her hand. “I really do apologize for that.”

She shrugged and smiled. “I wouldn’t be here if it hadn’t been for you, so I can’t hold it against you.”

He fluttered his eyelashes at her and she snorted a laugh. Oliver huffed and rolled his eyes again. “Alright enough of that, Ben.”

Ben linked arms with Felicity and pulled her towards the table. “I think you and I are going to be good friends. Think of all the trouble we could cause! All the grey hairs we could give him!”

Felicity was laughing outright now and Oliver’s glare was half-hearted at best.

Dig started passing around the Chinese food and the team began to chow down. For a few moments they all settled into a comfortable silence.

“Not to ruin a good thing, but I was obviously called in for a reason. As much as I’d love to be a part of the Avengers, Ow!” He yelped when a deep-fried shrimp bounced off his forehead. “But if I’m here in the middle of the night I assume it’s because I’m needed. I have a very specific skillset and-“

Felicity snorted. “Keep it up pretty-boy.”

Ben grinned widely. “Alright, alright.” His smile faded. “It’s the Jackal, right?”

Oliver cleared his throat and put down his plate. “We found his location tonight, but it was a trap and he had trapped a detective friend of ours and another officer. Detective Lance is in surgery. We got there in time to get them out of there but the Jackal was gone.”

Ben nodded. “You need a profile. I’ve kept up on his news coverage but I’m sure you have more for me. Let’s get to it.”

* * *

Two hours later Ben was standing in front of them with a laser pointer. His demeanor had changed from joking and fun to professional expert. They had poured over all data available on the Jackal as well as every interaction the Team had with him. Only Lance and Petty had come close enough to the Jackal to know his physical characteristics.

“The Jackal is male with bright dyed red hair. He wears purple contact lenses and stands at approximately 5 feet, 9 inches. He weighs in at approximately 190-200 pounds. He has an affinity for plain orange clothing. His height and weight are unremarkable. His decision to dye his hair such an extreme colour and wear remarkable contact lenses express a desire to stand out in a crowd. His decision to always wear orange clothing, and often orange jumpsuits may indicate that believes he belongs in prison. He was charged with a crime but never convicted.

“The Jackal’s affinity for creating mazes indicates both a complex thought process, and perhaps and inability to simplify plans. That he only targets law enforcement officers would suggest that he feels the need to punish the criminal justice system for some slight against him in the past or present.

“The weapon used against Detective Lance was a shard of ice. A strange weapon, and not used randomly. It was a clue to lead us to the crime he committed.

“Given all of the findings I believe that The Jackal is punishing law enforcement for not putting him away. The system failed to convict him of a crime he committed. We are looking for an attempted murder of a young woman 10-15 years ago. The weapon was never found. Likely the woman was stabbed in the back, therefore without seeing her attacker and without the weapon, the accused was set free. He was likely an academic. A student of ethics, religion, morality. Early onset schizophrenia, not diagnosed, missed by prosecution and defense. Pled not-guilty. His illness was not treated, layered with guilt, ethical/moral/religious mania. He is punishing those who have not punished him.”

Ben blew out a breath and looked over his notes. “Questions?”

Roy nodded. “Yeah, do you teach this shit?”

Ben cracked a smile. “Let’s catch this guy and get him the help he needs and then we’ll talk.

* * *

The next evening found the five of them sitting at the tables and working on the case. Ben had showed up with Big Belly Burger and the others were forever grateful.

“Detective Lance is in a coma, but they managed to get all of the internal bleeding.” Felicity informed them.

“He’ll be okay.” Roy told her. He couldn’t know that. But no one corrected him.

Felicity pulled up what she had found that day on the big screens for the team. “I found three cases that fit the profile. Ben?”

The team listened intently as Felicity filled them in. “Jonah Swanason, 48. He was a Professor at Central City College. His wife was stabbed on her way home from work 12 years ago and he was the only suspect. No weapon discovered and she swore it wasn’t him.”

Ben tapped his chin. “Picture?”

Felicity tapped her keyboard and a bearded man with a scowl appeared on the screen. Ben shook his head. “That’s not him. What did he teach, by the way?”

“Ethics.” Ben nodded and wrote some notes on his pad.

“Why isn’t it him?” Roy asked.

“He’ll fit in better than that.” Oliver answered instead.

Ben nodded. “Precisely. Hiding in plain sight. This guy looks a bit like someone who might stab his wife. He isn’t the Jackal.”

Felicity brought up the next file. “Brad Elcott. 29. Was a student at Starling University. Stabbed his girlfriend.”

“Not him. Too young. And he was convicted.” Ben replied. “Who do we have next?”

“John Brett. 45. Janitor in the Ethics and Philosophy building at Coast City College. He was charged in the stabbing of a female student 11 years ago. Described by students as creepy.” Felicity pulled up the photo.

Ben studied the photo. “He fits generally into the build, but I don’t think it’s him. Can you please run a quick search on him? Where is he these days?”

Felicity hacked into police servers before sighing heavily. “He was picked up a month ago for assaulting a student. He’s in lockup awaiting trial.” She felt a stab of disappointment, she should have checked out backgrounds before bringing them forward. Now they had nothing. She was startled by a gentle hand on her shoulder. Ben was smiling at her.

“It’s not a perfect science. Besides I think you just found our guy.” He told her.

John frowned. “But you nixed all three.”

Ben pulled a blank whiteboard beside the one containing his perp profile. “We now have an unsolved attack on the wife of a Professor of Ethics. The Professor was tried and not convicted. He was the only suspect, which means whoever stabbed Patricia Swanason got away with it.” He grinned. “I told you, profiling isn’t a perfect science. The fact that an innocent man almost went away for his crime, and the husband of his victim at that would add layers to his rage towards the criminal justice system.” Ben tapped the marker against his chin. “The Jackal was likely a student of Jonah Swanasan. He might even have been interviewed by police when they were gathering evidence against the Professor. We need to look at Jonah Swanason’s students at the time. I need a list of the classes he was teaching and the names, student records and pictures of the students.”

Oliver nodded. “If you’re right we can catch the Jackal, get Jonah Swanasan his job back and give Patricia some peace.”

* * *

Ben’s cry of victory was followed by a scramble of movement to understand what had elicited the response. The team waited for an explanation as he typed clumsily into Felicity’s computer and brought up the file for them to study. The face of a handsome young man filled the screen.

“Mike Sten. 31. Studied Ethics with a major in morality at Central City college. Transferred to Starling City University the following year to continue his masters in theology. Kicked out of the program for “intolerance of other belief systems” and two physical altercations with another student. Was picked up on a minor drug charge a year later. Crystal methamphetamine. And hasn’t been seen or heard from since.”

Ben turned to the rest of the team. And tapped on the keyboard. His mugshot filled the screen. The handsome young man looked thinner, his hair was wild and dark black. His clothes unkempt and dirty. His eyes were dark and manic. “Team Arrow, meet the Jackal.”

Felicity pulled up the sketch that Officer Petty had put out after coming face to face with the Jackal and put them side by side. It was only the bright red hair and purple contacts that differed. It was clearly the same man.

“Alright, Ben. You’re our expert. How do we catch him?” Oliver asked.

* * *

The phone call to Officer Petty had gone better than expected. The man was grateful for any help he could get and Ben had gone in to debrief SCPD. It was important that no other cops were injured. Ben felt that they were due for another police-related incident if the timeline was anything to go by.

“So you’re saying this guy is punishing cops because he wasn’t picked up for his crime?” A detective in the back asked.

Ben nodded. “I need to stress that this man is very sick. He hurt one your own. But please remember that he has been untreated for possibly up to 15 years at this point. The orange jumpsuit indicates that he wishes to be punished as do the rest of his actions. He is actively leaving clues. But his mind won’t simply allow him to turn himself in. We need to be cautious.”

“And the Arrow?” One of the beatcops in the front asked.

Ben knew that Oliver’s relationship with the SCPD continued to be difficult. Without Lance there, it was even more strained.

“The Arrow is not officially law enforcement.” He held up a hand at the snorts of derision in the room. “I would also recommend you remember that without his help Detective Lance and Officer Petty would both be dead.” The silence was palpable. “For the Jackal, I believe the Arrow represents the best chance of being caught. The fact that he has made no move against him or his team seems to confirm that he wishes to be caught. The Arrow is an ally you should make use of in this operation. Because your department will be targeted. The Arrow will not. Remember, more than anything the Jackal wants to be caught.”

“So we’re the bait?” A haughty cop demanded.

Officer Petty stood up. “Enough. Just listen will you. Have any of you sat surrounded by this psycho’s traps with a dying co-worker? No? Then shut the hell up.”

Ben waited for silence. “I have given you the best preparation I can. I’m simply telling you that to chase the Arrow is going to lead to the deaths of your own. He is the best chance you have to catch the Jackal. Pay attention, tighten ranks and stay focused on the Jackal.” Ben straightened his papers and walked out of the room.

_“Thanks, Ben.”_ Felicity’s voice sounded in his ear.

He smiled and walked out into the night.

* * *

The op went better than they expected. The police cooperated, perhaps because Officer Petty was glaring at everyone who so much as thought about pointing their sidearm anywhere _Green_. The Jackal showed up and did his best to divide and conquer. His confusion was evident when his previous tactics failed to work on the police.

Ben watched the scene with Felicity back in the lair. He watched as the Jackal’s confusion turned to anger.

Roy and John settled into place on either side of the walkway that the Jackal had been using and his purple eyes widened.

_“What’s this?”_ He asked, panic shaking his voice.

Oliver landed five feet in front of him. “ _It’s time for you to end this.”_

The Jackal stumbled back a step and looked down below him at the maze he had created. The police waited calmly at all exits, not even one of them trapped within its walls.

_“I don’t understand!”_ He yelled.

Roy aimed an arrow at him and John pointed his gun when he took a step toward the Arrow. They could hear fifty guns cocking below the men.

Oliver lowered his arrow. And Ben smiled from his place beside Felicity 5 miles away. _“It’s over, Mike. We understand now. You don’t have to keep doing this. We know everything.”_

The Jackal deflated and asked in a small voice. “ _Everything?”_

_“Everything. We know you feel guilty for hurting Professor Swanasan’s wife Patricia.”_ Oliver continued.

The Jackal swelled with rage. “ _They never caught me! They never even tried! They punished him! Professor Swanason was a good man and they ruined him! He doesn’t teach anymore. He was a good professor!”_

The Arrow nodded. “ _I know, we know. Mike, we can fix it now. We can help him get his job back and they can punish the right person.”_  The Arrow studied him. _“Is that what you want?”_

The Jackal nodded but looked down at all the police who had their guns aimed at him. “ _But who will punish them when they get it wrong?”_

Ben hummed beside Felicity and she looked at him. “I wondered if this would come up.” He hit the comms. “Oliver, ask him if they got it wrong before this?”

The Arrow repeated Ben’s question and the Jackal narrowed his eyes at the police.

_“I stole candy when I was twelve with my friend Joel. I was told not to do it again. But my friend Joel was taken away from his family and put in Juvenile Hall. All because his skin was darker than mine.”_ The Jackal yelled.

Ben tapped his fingers on the desk. “Mike, police are people and people are flawed. You know this. You studied ethics. Did you study ethics because of what happened to your friend Joel?”

_“Somebody needed to fix things.”_

Oliver stepped forward and placed a hand on his shoulder. “ _I know what it’s like to feel like you have to fix everything. But you’ve done your part. Are you ready to come in? To fix things for Professor and Patricia Swanason?”_

The Jackal stared at him and everything was tense before he dropped his head and nodded.

* * *

The atmosphere in the lair was joyous as they popped open a bottle of champagne and ate a giant pizza. Ben was teasing Oliver about how well he had talked down the Jackal.

“You might just make a kickass Psychiatrist, Oliver.”

Oliver shoved his away and rolled his eyes. He grabbed a slice of pizza and pulled his phone out of his pocket, ducking into the other room. Felicity’s eyes followed him until a warm arm dropped around her shoulders. She turned to face Ben who was grinning down at her.

“You know, I often thought that there was no way you could be as great as he said. I thought he’d made up some idealised version of you and that was half the problem. But you’re exactly how he described you. You all are. And working with you this week has been amazing.” He told her happily, before downing his glass of champagne.

Felicity blushed and joked. “Are you hitting on me?”

Ben choked on his champagne. “You’re beautiful, Felicity. Smartest person I'll ever meet. But no, I wouldn’t dream of it. I know a lost cause when I see it. Besides you’re not really my type.”

Felicity blushed harder at the insinuation that she was in love with Oliver and instead raised an eyebrow. “Really? And just what is your type, Benjamin?”

She caught the glance over at Roy who was stretching across the room and she giggled. Roy looked over their way and seemed to catch Ben’s glance and its meaning as he ducked his head and blushed head to toe. “Interesting.”

“You have no idea.” Ben told her before dropping a kiss to her hair. He walked over and started a conversation with John as they started cleaning up the table. She watched as Roy joined them and he and Ben joked around.

“So you finally picked up on that, huh?” Oliver’s voice in her ear caused her to jump. He huffed a laugh and she narrowed her eyes in a glare as he hopped onto the desk next to her.

“Only after he actually told me.” She pouted.

Oliver laughed. “You’re losing your touch, Smoak.”

They watched the others as they cleaned up and joked around for a bit. She happily sat in the comfortable silence that the two of them had only recently recovered. She let it wrap around her like an old sweater, comforting and dependable.

“Lance is awake. I’m sure you’ll hear from him tomorrow.” Oliver told her quietly, perhaps also unwilling to truly disturb the little bubble surrounding them.

She nodded happily.

Ben looked up and winked at her before he said his goodbyes to John. Whatever he said to Roy had the young man looking suddenly bashful and stuttering. He walked over to Felicity and Oliver and hugged her tightly.

“Well, Darling. It’s been a pleasure. Hopefully you don’t need my services too soon, but maybe I’ll stop by for a visit.” He gave her another sly wink.

She laughed. “Please do. You provide infinite entertainment.”

He tapped her on the nose before turning to Oliver. He capped him on the shoulder. “Always fun, brother. I’ll see you tomorrow. Remember my coffee. I gave Anita the day off so just buzz yourself in.”

Oliver waved him off. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll bring your coffee. You’ve got a problem, man.”

Ben chuckled and walked up the stairs and out of the lair.

Oliver watched him go before meeting Felicity’s inquisitive gaze. "We still meet twice a week to-"

Felicity nodded, cutting him off. “Can you give me a ride home?”

Oliver’s eyebrows pinched together at the interruption and strange request. He nodded and they waved to Roy and Dig as they left. She ignored the look in Roy’s eyes. Oliver said nothing when he saw her car parked in the lot beside his bike. He simply handed her the helmet and waited for her to get on the bike behind him. He made no comment about how nice it felt having her arms wrapped around him or her cheek pressed into his back. It took all his willpower to not cover her hands with one of his own. All too soon they were parked outside of her home. He helped her dismount the bike and they stood there for a moment before she turned and started walking towards her house without a word. He followed, it took only two strides to catch up with her. He walked up the steps with her and watched as she unlocked the front door of her home.

He opened his mouth to say goodnight but when she turned to face him, he closed it with an audible snap. There was a softness in her eyes he hadn’t seen in _such_ a long time.

“The thing is that I’ve missed you for a really long time. And I don’t know exactly _when_ I forgave you but I have. And you’re still working with Ben to make yourself better. You still want to be the best you can be. So I’m not inviting you in, Oliver. I’m not asking. I’m telling you not to leave.” She smiled up at his confused and hopeful face with tears in her eyes. “Because I didn’t think I’d ever get here. But I am here and I love you. So come in.”

She slipped her small hand into his larger one and pulled him over the welcome mat and into her home. She smiled as she pressed her body against his and closed the door behind him.

“This is what you want?” He asked.

Felicity leaned up on her tiptoes and brushed her lips gently across his. “This is what I need, Oliver.”

Tears blurred his eyes and mixed with hers as their lips brushed together for the first time in years. “I love you.” He murmured.

“I love you.” She replied as her lips moved to his throat.”

“I love you.” He promised as he carried her up the stairs.

“I love you.” She cried as they reunited over and over again.

“I love you.” He whispered against her brow as she slept in his arms. The sunlight bathed the room as a new day began. She snuggled further into his body and Oliver closed his eyes and felt truly at home.

* * *

 

**_Some things just, some things just make sense_ **

**_And one of those is you and I_ **

**_Some things just, some things just make sense_ **

**_And even after all this time_ **

**_I'm into you_ **

**_Baby not a day goes by that I'm not into you_ **

 


End file.
